Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Only on the Internet...

Only on the Internet...

  1. Can you post a blog entry before you have even written it.
  2. Can you receive more junk mail than lands o your doormat at home.
  3. Wake up in every Country in the world before you have fallen asleep.
  4. Read a joke you sent to friends on its return, that is now rewritten completely.
  5. Interact with real people you would never have known existed at all.
  6. Conduct a Worldwide business from your kitchen table.
  7. Watch the latest films before they reach the cinema in your Country.
  8. Find anything you need in life (Including a kitchen sink)
  9. Lose the kids for days and have to ask them their names when they finally surface.
  10. Let people into your home who would not even get through your front door in real life.
  11. Get totally confused whilst reading the last page on the Internet...
A Happy New year and lots of success to you all wherever you are in this 'Global Village'

Even if you are reading this before I've written it, don't worry there are 23
new year midnights to share with everyone you know around this Global Village.

Why not build a little nest egg for yourself to celebrate the New Year?
Buy Gold Online - Quickly, safely and securely

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

20 Economic explained with Cows

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the
United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

You have two cows.
You worship them.

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the fcuk out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Xmas to all our 5021 Friends and Contacts!

A Christmas greeting to all of our friends and contacts around this 'Global Village'

Seasons greetings and a Happy new year to you all!
Peter, Cristina and Mihai

Friday, December 19, 2008

Lost in Translation...

Okay, here I am in and they have changed my language – I ask you why? I thought I spoke English apparently not I now have to speak english! You see even English is spelt differently as well.

When I arrived at the hotel entering on the Ground floor I was corrected and informed I was on the first floor. After getting out of a ‘Taxi’, which is a ‘Cab’, getting my suitcase from the Boot, sorry trunk of the taxi, sorry cab. Puzzled as to the direction taken which turned out to be route, buying some ‘sweets’ to chew which had blank looks from the shopkeeper till it clicked I meant ‘candy’, and I meant ‘cookies’ not ‘biscuits’ and a packet of crisps had suddenly become ‘chips’!.

I felt like an alien to my own tongue, ordering a snack of ‘Aubergine and Chips’ added to an interesting exchange, this is also wrong – ‘Eggplant and French fries’ was the right mix, an eggplant is known as a Kiwi fruit in parts of England. Even the ‘Serviette’ had turned into a ‘Napkin’ and the Tomato sauce was some weird name ‘Catsup

After the meal do you think anybody would give me the ‘bill?’, No they said no one called Bill worked there, then I heard someone ask for the ‘Check’ to pay for their meal, it arrived and off they went, tried the same and ‘Hey Presto’ I paid for my meal! (A Cheque in England is another term used in banking)

Having left the hotels dining room, I headed for the reception and got a bit lost on the way so I checked with a staff member asking, “Which way to the ‘reception desk?’” was greeted with a blank look and realised I should have used ‘Front Desk’ instead. Anyway, intent on taking my luggage up to my room and resting for a short while, again a ‘lost in translation ‘situation occurred – My ‘baggage’ had been taken to my room, so no one knew where my ‘luggage’ was! On top of that, my room was 6120, horror thoughts entered my mind of being on the 61st floor of the hotel, Normality restored, and as it was pointed out that, it was room 120 on the sixth floor.

It gets better! My room had no ‘Cupboards’ at all they had turned into ‘Closets’ – The ‘Curtains’ had vanished and become ‘Drapes’ – The ‘Toilet’ had become a ‘Restroom/ Bathroom'.

As I sat on the chair next to the bed, thankful they had not changed heavily in translation, I thought about my journey after leaving the Airport – The ‘Taxi’ had become a ‘Cab’, the ‘Windscreen’ was a ‘Windshield’, the ‘Boot was the ‘Trunk’, the ‘Bonnet’ was the ‘Hood’, the ‘Motorway’ was the ‘Freeway’. The ‘Footpath’ had become a ‘Sidewalk’, the ‘Road surface’ was a ‘Pavement’ and cars did not have ‘Bumpers’ they are called ‘Fenders’

I had come here as a ‘Solicitor’ but was a ‘Lawyer’ – Had arrived in the ‘Fall’ not the ‘Autumn’ and despite being on a short working ‘Holiday’ found I was on a short working ‘Vacation’. Even my wardrobe took a hammering in some ways, my ‘Trousers’ became ‘Pants’ and various other items of clothing switched from inside to outside attire as names changed.

(Mental note) Must remenmber to spell correctly here, the habit of missing letters in English words must not be allowed to interfere with my time here; there is enough to re-learn about my English.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Has the WWW got Cobwebs?

Just a quarter of a century ago the world began to shrink with the birth of the Internet/ World Wide Web.

Today it is nearly everywhere, full of good and bad - strange and fantastic - old and new - funny and sad.

However it has spawned a 'New' Enemy for many - 'Terror by Mouse' - Yes the mouse on your computer is capable of emptying a bank account in seconds, feeding viruses to millions at a click, creating happiness and sadness in seconds.

A variation on an historical theme present throughout our human history of violence and terrorism towards each other. Today we are a 'Global Village' community; the enemy is on the doorstep, not in another country, town or city anymore. It is just here in front of you if you/ we are not careful in our behaviour using the Internet. Educating and re-educating the 'Global Villagers' against the perils of the Internet is paramount to improving World safety and the trust and respect we all rightly deserve for each other.

Where are all the millions going that end up in Nigerian bank accounts? Countless millions are taken everyday from gullible and greedy victims’ of the 'Cyber-Criminal' - Is it sitting there gathering dust and interest? Is it being re-routed to fund the atrocities we read about/ see on TV far too regularly these days? Is enough being done to ensure our children's safety? Unanswered questions that need a fair amount of investment in many ways, time, money, equipment as well as training is needed before a valid answer can be given to them.

None of these are readily available yet to the 'Cinderella' of the security systems of the WWW - Yet the cost of 1 cruise missile could easily create a far better Internet Safety centre, to begin a fight to turn the tables on Terrorism, be it on the net or in the street. Instead it is a tit-for-tat campaign with both forces engaged in a never-ending battle for supremacy.

The enemy to a free world is no longer a terrorist act in another country; no longer an enemy at the gates of freedom, the enemy is right in front of you on your desktop!