Showing posts with label boffin1157. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boffin1157. Show all posts

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentines Day Sonnets

Here are Shakespeare's Sonnets 116 and 29, enjoy... and do have a great day...

Sonnet 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 29:

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.



Sunday, December 19, 2010

Google for Christmas

35 Essential Computer User Google Links

The greatest advent of Google is that you are always connected wherever you go and able to access your account via the omnipresent Google cloud.

The list has been broken down into several sections to make it easier for those beginning their Google experience and those who want to augment their abilities.

Google has many well-known and some lesser-known products that everyone who uses Google should be familiar with. Whether you are practicing social networking as an Internet user, or as a professional you will need to know Google well to share information and continue to get others involved as Googlers.

These are just some of the Google Products that are designed to make your surfing of the Internet more enjoyable and productive for you. Many of these products are very useful aids for helping you to keep up to date with your postings on the Internet.


Google Basics
  1. Google Account - Signing-up once here and creating a single Google account will give you access to all of Google's products, features, and services.
  2. Google Mail or Gmail - For sending and receiving email.
  3. Google Top Searches - More search options to help you research more accurately
  4. Google Hot Trends - With Google Trends, you can compare the world's interest in your favorite topics.
  5. Google Blog Search - Blog Search is Google search technology focused on blogs.
  6. Google Web History - Keeps a record of your Internet use while logged into your account.
  7. Google News Search - Need more information on a theme or topic? News Search will look for you.
  8. Google News Archive Search Allows you to search and explore historical archives.
  9. Google Image Search -Need an image for your project? Image Search will speed up the search for you.
  10. Google Reader - Google Reader constantly checks your favorite news sites, RSS feeds, and blogs for new content.
  11. iGoogle - Your own personalized Google user interface page that promotes searches and your selected content.

Google Intermediate
  1. Google Video - A collection of 'User Videos' that may or may not be on 'YouTube.' And also a place where users can host their videos.
  2. Google Alerts - Email updates (web, news, etc.) based on your choice of query or topic.
  3. Google Calendar - A very useful aid that effectively reduces scrap paper and never gets lost, use it in combination with other Google products.
  4. Google Docs - Create and share documents on-line. This product allows the creation of documents similar to Microsoft Word and Excel. Very easy to use and permits users work together at the same time despite time zone differences.
  5. Google Custom Search Engine - Create your own custom search engine for your external hosted website.
  6. Google Sites - Allows users to create and host their own website.
  7. Google Talk - Instant communications, a simple fast chat and messenger program.
  8. Google Chrome -Google's browser software, its fast, simple and secure.
  9. Google Adsense - Google AdSense matches ads to your site's content, and you earn money whenever your visitors click on them.
  10. Google Earth - Google Earth lets you travel almost anywhere on Earth to view satellite imagery, maps, and terrain.

Google Advanced
  1. Google Gadget Ventures - Google Gadget Ventures is a new Google pilot program dedicated to helping developers create richer, more useful Google Gadgets.
  2. Google Grants - The Google Grants program supports organisations to help the world in areas such as science and technology, education, global public health, the environment, youth advocacy, and the arts.
  3. Google Code University - Provides tutorials and sample course content so CS students and educators can learn more about current computing technologies and paradigms.
  4. Google Ad Words - Display Ad Builder for website advertising.
  5. Google Analytics - Google Analytics is the enterprise-class web analytics solution that gives you rich insights into your website traffic and marketing effectiveness.
  6. Google Data Protocol - The Google Data Protocol is a REST-inspired technology for reading, writing, and modifying information on the web.
  7. Google Maps API -
  8. Google Base - Simply describe your items on Base to make them as easy as possible for people to find when they search.
  9. Google Research - Google’s mission and the enormous scale of Google’s operation lead to fundamental questions in Computer Science and Engineering; the technical excitement of this, and the real and practical benefit we can bring to Google’s users through our integrated approach, all contribute to the excitement of doing research at Google.

Branded Products Owned by Google

  1. Blogger -Access thousands of blogs and search through them for useful postings - Or, start your own.
  2. Youtube -A collection of 'User Videos' that may not be on 'Google Video'.
  3. Picasa - An off-line | on-line tool for organizing and editing your photos and images.
  4. FeedBurner - Great program to creating, directing and making feeds and blogged information go all over the place.Supports RSS 2.0 and Atom and more.
  5. Gears - Gears is an open source project that enables more powerful web applications, by adding new features to your web browser:

Friday, October 15, 2010

This is what love is all about...


Forwarded by email to me this morning.


This Is What Love Is All About...



It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, When an elderly gentleman in
his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he
was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs
and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone
would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since
I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it
was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies
to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound,
we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor's
appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me
no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a
while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be
worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was,
that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and
asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who
you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but
I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of
all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they
just make the best of everything that comes along their way."


-- Author Unknown --

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Pedestrians Roulette

- This photovideo is was made this morning (15/05/2010) from 230 still photographs shot yesterday (14/05/2010 at 21:51 GMT+2) following utter disgust that motorists show for human life whilst pedestrians are crossing the road.

- Friday the 7th May 2010 a brilliant 23 year old student was killed on such a crossing, the image being made public is designed to pervert the law stating that both driver and victim were both crossing on a Red Light according to a Police camera.

- Even worse followed... Tuesday 11th May 2010 2 sisters aged 12 and 13 years old at 20:00 on a crossing outside the library, both badly injured by a couldn't care less motorist in a BMW driven by a 19 year old.


- The photovideo has been slowed to half speed of 0.63secs per picture from 0.31 seconds.

So far this year in the County of Cluj... 109 serious road accidents, 32 killed and a further 90 seriously injured.

- The Police dedicated a whole 6 hours to sorting the daily carnage out, not one is to be seen on the streets today, the whole 6 hour period they swarmed everywhere.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Non-Recycled Plastic Bottle


The Non-Recycled Plastic Bottle


Hands up who carefully recycled the plastic bottles they used in the last year.

Each and everyone of us throws into ever decreasing landfill sites enough plastic bottles for us all to be proud owners of one of these giant footballs!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Internet Safety - Part 2

Internet Safety – ‘Cyber-Bullying’ is ‘Beatable’

By Dr. Peter James – Independent researcher, writer, and web tactician.

Yesterday Part 1 was published here...

Internet Safety Tips - Part 1

Part 2 follows on below.

Fraud Email
Everyone gets junk and scam emails, be it Mr ‘Microsoft’ Bill Gates, your favourite film star or singer, even me, efforts are made to curb this daily threat but without employing many of the suggestions in this article, it is a hard battle to win. Now my own spam emails received is low at around five or six items a week. If your IP address gets hi-jacked, you can send spam unknowingly. A few months ago whilst on holiday I found that despite not being on the Internet during the 5 days away that 1000+ spam emails had been sent using my IP address. The matter was resolved 6 weeks later and the offender caught, literally, no one is exempt from the ‘Cyber-Bully’ or Internet nastiness out there today.

There are always plausible reasons given to get you to respond to them, many are from banks that you do not have an account with at all. Never open or respond to them at all, if it is from your bank, go to the nearest branch and sort it out there, not over the Internet or phone, many bogus emails use false logos, and ghost embedded addresses to fool the recipients into responding. In the time it takes to re-read this paragraph, a computer operator elsewhere in another part of the world could electronically rob your bank account!

Have you brought anything in the last few days? Has anyone brought anything from you? Apart from the odd promotional email from ‘EBay’ or maybe a follow up question from a buyer or seller – You know who they are; there is no need for ‘EBay’ to contact you at all. Any such emails can be deleted without a second thought. The contents look good and the links work to bogus sites – not ‘EBay’ – they usually contain ‘bugs’ of various descriptions, all designed to get into your computer and feed back any useful information found on it. Want to see EBay’s latest offers, go to the EBay website much safer than opening the ‘offer you can not refuse’ email.

The scenario is very similar to ‘EBay’, again they look good and just like all scam emails they contain false links, sometimes phone numbers, impressive reproduced layout and a lot of ‘English’ spelling mistakes. (A fact many non-native ‘English’ speakers miss completely when responding to ‘scam’ emails.) Along with other poorly educated people, they happily answer all questions asked and lose thousands every day to these ‘Cyber-Criminals/Bullies’ - The same rule for PayPal special offers applies as well.

Phone numbers that are not
It is possible to buy phone numbers for other countries and many do this for genuine legally accepted reasons. Just because it is a ‘UK’or 'USA' etc number to ring, does not mean your call (along with the bogus contact name) is going to that country. Invariably the call never does, answered in a completely different country to the one dialled on your phone. In the event that you find such a number in an email, there is a very high chance that is an attempt to reassure that the email is genuine.

Lottery winner
Bin them! Do not waste a second opening them, each one is aimed at making you a lot poorer and the ‘Cyber-Bully/ Criminal’ a lot richer. You have not won anything at all. Your lottery winnings are false, every lottery has a ticket with ‘Your’ chosen numbers on it that will be in your possession, not faceless individual, – Foreign lotteries; do not normally sell outside their own national borders. Again badly written ‘English’ gets thousands of greedy individuals to empty their bank accounts chasing the mythical money they have not won, not only not won – The winnings never exist at all! – If the email were on paper, the paper would be worth more than the contents written on it.

Inheritance emails
Again bin them without opening them, the wording in the mailbox as to ‘From’ and ‘Header’ contents usually give them away first, if any is present in the header that is. As with any unknown names if in doubt – ‘Delete’ without opening. The header usually wants you to contact someone; this someone has a false name and phone number and is only intent on passing you along a chain of fraudsters getting you to part with as much money as possible on the way. Later after a few months respite they get in touch with you again and go through the whole rip-off process again. Think about this: ‘Why they do not know your name if you are actually inheriting such a large sum of money?’

Microsoft Junk emails
Microsoft do not, repeat do not send junk emails, nowadays nearly all Microsoft emails are by subscription only, only sent by request. You can happily delete any you have not asked them to send, as they will not be from Microsoft at all.

Password request / Locked account emails
If your mate across the street, a stranger in the bar where you have a beer, or a bus passenger asked for your password, bank details etc, would you give them to them. No! So why do people happily do so to an unknown plausible electronic enquiry? These details are yours and yours alone not for Jo/ Joe Public – Keep them safe!

If a stranger asked you for your ‘Front Door Key’ would you give it to them?


Passwords
Use a clue to remind you, never write the password down just write the clue down. Anyone can find it in your absence or even in front of you without you knowing.

Incidentally, forget any ideas of using big words from dictionaries or any other dictionary word unless disguised - Once access is gained to your computer from an illegal source, in nearly all cases, an incredible amount of dictionaries come into action as your data is trawled looking for passwords that you may have stored on it.

A far more secure combination today is around 16 characters/symbols long.

I say 'far more', owing to the fact that a 'Secret' is only a 'Secret' until you tell one other person. - So keep those passwords 'SECRET'

Use different on each website
In the event you have so many website passwords, then try to group your site passwords so that in the event that if a password is found, the password will not give access to all of the websites that you use, just a few. If there are several passwords on one site make sure that every password is different, adding a figure at the end of the main password is not a good idea.

Change passwords each month
Regularly change your passwords; it is in your own interest to do so and prior to this if you suspect someone else may know a password. A second option exists; if you do not use particular websites regularly, use the sites password reminder service, yes it takes a few minutes of your time but is well worth the effort involved.

Passwords...
Never share them - Never email them - Ignore requests for them


The passwords that you use to access ‘Chat’, ‘Windows’, your various accounts etc are yours and ‘Unique’ to you! No one else needs or needs to know them, not even the company website that you use, only their computers do. In every case, individuals are ‘locked out’ from this information and no one has any right to ask you for it. Electronic reminders are just that, no human is involved in the reminder at all.

Many systems do not send it; they send a temporary replacement instead, so that you can re-access your account. (A step that stops interception of the email whilst in transit to you)

Yes, there are even 'Spy-Bots' that read the body (Main Part) of your email content in transit looking for email addresses and nothing else, so try to disguise any email addresses you send to others - Doing this, actually makes them invisible to these 'Spy-Bots' - Example... donald(dot)duck(at)quackers(dot)com(dot)au

Email addresses that you enter in the 'Header' of your email are quite safe from illegal interception these 'Spy-Bot' Internet Nasties.

Naughty Websites...
All are lockable by you! Every ‘web site’ is lockable from your browser, just as every unwanted ‘email’ or ‘chat individual’ may be locked on the relevant provider. All responsible parents on every computer in the home should take these actions, before any problems start in the future.

That token fee of 1 Euro / $1 / £1 etc is more than just a means of verifying the users age, in many cases it is a ‘Yippee’ another sucker has given us permission to go on a spending spree at their expense. Result; loads of extra expenses many will go un-noticed by you as the Credit Card is usually paid by Direct Debit, with no questions asked by the Card owner at all. Tracker cookies are now safely implanted on your computer from this transaction.

Cookies...
Cookies are useful aids that enable regularly visited websites to open faster. Unfortunately, there are also ‘malicious’ cookies; these tend to turn up in emails and some downloaded programs as well. Employing the email precautions above will help reduce them, as will regular virus and spyware scans and updates of said programs. Another precaution you can take is to ‘Save’ rather than ‘Run’ a new program that you download, this will enable you virus and spyware programs to scan and remove any problems before they get the chance to ‘hide in your computers registry. Many new ‘Bugs’ self-duplicate, meaning you will get it back within seconds of removal as its clone left behind elsewhere in the registry reproduces itself.

Key-loggers sit there on your hard drive recording every keystroke and mouse click that you make. Then your computer sends this information to another (Unknown to you at all) computer in ‘Cyber-World’.

Conclusion...
At the time of writing, There are sadly still several thousand missing children in the world related to ‘chat’ and other instant message issues. There were a little over 4,100 recognised frauds in progress and a list of over 400 recognised Internet Fraudsters at large, with 420,000+ frauds deleted from the Internet. Together with a large number of hi-jacked, IP addresses by unknown parties. With your help in adopting as many of the above advice items, larger numbers of Internet crimes will be solved and the perpetrators caught and punished. Even better still thousands of children will be re-united unharmed with their families and the ‘groomers’ will not be able to lead many more astray in the future.

Another point not yet clarified as ‘a fact’ is ‘chat’ systems being used as an extension to street and playground bullying, to incite violence or crime on the victim against other victims, keeping the ‘actual’ aggressor/ perpetrator safe and sound.

URL Help websites to note:

  1. Internet fraud - http://www.fraudwatchinternational.com/
  2. Child web safety - http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/
  3. Internet Police UK - http://www.wiredsafety.org/gb/law/uk_police_information.html
  4. FBI Cybercrime - http://www.fbi.gov/cyberinvest/cyberhome.htm


There are many more, most countries have them, in some form. Your first priority should be to contact your local Police in the event of personal issues and missing persons, they can help far quicker and will take all the necessary steps needed both where you are and contact more specialised units/ teams as needed.

Please enjoy the Internet it has a wealth of information on it and the vast majority of users are genuine, the minority spoil things in the ‘Cyber-World’, as well as the ‘Real World’.
Learn to be safe not sorry, together we can stamp out ‘Cyber-Crime’ - ‘Cyber-Bullying’ and develop a much safer ‘Cyber-World’

In case you ever wondered, there is a last page on the Internet, its URL is… http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm

Enjoy your life and help others to enjoy theirs, together we can make this borderless Internet safer, together Internet crime will be reduced. Everyday people like me are working behind the scenes to give you a better safer Internet, everyday the Internet gets a bit safer for all. With your help, we can all be winners and stop the minority from running our lives, fuelling our fears and feeding our limited knowledge to blame those who are not guilty in any way for the minorities actions against us all.


Part 3 follows tomorrow - Extra anytime tips whilst out and going about your daily life.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Crazy Cartoons - V - Computer Game Violence

Ok, 'Bugs Bunny' is a bit violent I know...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WM5Gwzk3Vfc

But Elmar Thudd and other cartoon baddies in it are always back to themselves in a matter of seconds to have another go at catching 'Bugs'

'Tom & Jerry' are not much different on the violence stakes either... http://youtube.com/watch?v=iG5Px3A0u0w

All sorts of horrible things happen to 'Tom' every episode, he's always better within seconds as well.

Poor old 'Wile E Coyote' forever chasing 'Roadrunner', he is technically killed at least 6 if not more times an episode...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bgsFVqfu-rM

But he really does catch 'Roadrunner' in the end believe it or not, even though it takes years of episodes to do so...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk


Which brings me to my frustration...

Why, after 65 odd years of being treated to death and destruction on a regular episodic basis are such animated cartoons cited as inducing violence and inciting said in the so called 'youth' today? .

Yet these cartoons can only be seen on 'YouTube' and the likes in so many Country's now. Yet Computer Games, where you have to deliberately 'Steal', 'Kill', 'Rob' , 'Maim' , 'Blow Up', is one allowed to do these and other such despicable acts to others, sometimes while 'Playing' against others on networked 'Games'. Carry on being allowed and called harmless?

The former mentioned cartoons did not do so, or boost the crime figures through the ceiling, or produce 'Copy Cat' violence etc on 'Real People' as the degenerates of today do, totally unable to unplug their minds from illusion at the right time, believing they can live as the 'Games' teach them, as they unleran reality and learn anti-social skills by 'Playing' and 'Living these games. Society loses heavily. Crime goes up, Fear of todays youth goes up, Trust in said plummets and society loses out 'Big-Time'. So what is the difference between the two items?

Answer is 'Money', loads of it! There is far more generated income from violent computer games in the form of taxes for Governments and Profits for companies than in the 65 year old cartoons. Sod the individual, 'Fill the nations coffers' with blood money please, we make more for wasting than the cost of damage done by them, money first, individuals last, greed is far more important, besides it makes it easier to control the masses if we let the degenerates bully, frighten and scare the decent people into being mice, makes it easier all round and ensures job security for the 'Boy's as well'. Who cares if the youth of today play these games all the time, then get the fixation in their tiny minds that it isn't a game, that it is really reality.

The powers that be don't care, so perhaps we should!

Answers on a postcard (or email) please.

A, B, Catch you later dear reader.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Doctor - Some health questions on my mind....

HEALTH QUESTIONS

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'

AND FINALLY...

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

4. The Italians and French drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

6. Algerians have almost no sex and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

7. Brazilians seldom stop having sex and suffer fewer heart attacks than Englishmen and Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Only on the Internet...

Only on the Internet...

  1. Can you post a blog entry before you have even written it.
  2. Can you receive more junk mail than lands o your doormat at home.
  3. Wake up in every Country in the world before you have fallen asleep.
  4. Read a joke you sent to friends on its return, that is now rewritten completely.
  5. Interact with real people you would never have known existed at all.
  6. Conduct a Worldwide business from your kitchen table.
  7. Watch the latest films before they reach the cinema in your Country.
  8. Find anything you need in life (Including a kitchen sink)
  9. Lose the kids for days and have to ask them their names when they finally surface.
  10. Let people into your home who would not even get through your front door in real life.
  11. Get totally confused whilst reading the last page on the Internet...
A Happy New year and lots of success to you all wherever you are in this 'Global Village'

Even if you are reading this before I've written it, don't worry there are 23
new year midnights to share with everyone you know around this Global Village.

Why not build a little nest egg for yourself to celebrate the New Year?
Buy Gold Online - Quickly, safely and securely



Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

20 Economic Models.........as explained with Cows


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the
United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the fcuk out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Lost in Translation...

Okay, here I am in and they have changed my language – I ask you why? I thought I spoke English apparently not I now have to speak english! You see even English is spelt differently as well.

When I arrived at the hotel entering on the Ground floor I was corrected and informed I was on the first floor. After getting out of a ‘Taxi’, which is a ‘Cab’, getting my suitcase from the Boot, sorry trunk of the taxi, sorry cab. Puzzled as to the direction taken which turned out to be route, buying some ‘sweets’ to chew which had blank looks from the shopkeeper till it clicked I meant ‘candy’, and I meant ‘cookies’ not ‘biscuits’ and a packet of crisps had suddenly become ‘chips’!.

I felt like an alien to my own tongue, ordering a snack of ‘Aubergine and Chips’ added to an interesting exchange, this is also wrong – ‘Eggplant and French fries’ was the right mix, an eggplant is known as a Kiwi fruit in parts of England. Even the ‘Serviette’ had turned into a ‘Napkin’ and the Tomato sauce was some weird name ‘Catsup

After the meal do you think anybody would give me the ‘bill?’, No they said no one called Bill worked there, then I heard someone ask for the ‘Check’ to pay for their meal, it arrived and off they went, tried the same and ‘Hey Presto’ I paid for my meal! (A Cheque in England is another term used in banking)

Having left the hotels dining room, I headed for the reception and got a bit lost on the way so I checked with a staff member asking, “Which way to the ‘reception desk?’” was greeted with a blank look and realised I should have used ‘Front Desk’ instead. Anyway, intent on taking my luggage up to my room and resting for a short while, again a ‘lost in translation ‘situation occurred – My ‘baggage’ had been taken to my room, so no one knew where my ‘luggage’ was! On top of that, my room was 6120, horror thoughts entered my mind of being on the 61st floor of the hotel, Normality restored, and as it was pointed out that, it was room 120 on the sixth floor.

It gets better! My room had no ‘Cupboards’ at all they had turned into ‘Closets’ – The ‘Curtains’ had vanished and become ‘Drapes’ – The ‘Toilet’ had become a ‘Restroom/ Bathroom'.

As I sat on the chair next to the bed, thankful they had not changed heavily in translation, I thought about my journey after leaving the Airport – The ‘Taxi’ had become a ‘Cab’, the ‘Windscreen’ was a ‘Windshield’, the ‘Boot was the ‘Trunk’, the ‘Bonnet’ was the ‘Hood’, the ‘Motorway’ was the ‘Freeway’. The ‘Footpath’ had become a ‘Sidewalk’, the ‘Road surface’ was a ‘Pavement’ and cars did not have ‘Bumpers’ they are called ‘Fenders’

I had come here as a ‘Solicitor’ but was a ‘Lawyer’ – Had arrived in the ‘Fall’ not the ‘Autumn’ and despite being on a short working ‘Holiday’ found I was on a short working ‘Vacation’. Even my wardrobe took a hammering in some ways, my ‘Trousers’ became ‘Pants’ and various other items of clothing switched from inside to outside attire as names changed.

(Mental note) Must remenmber to spell correctly here, the habit of missing letters in English words must not be allowed to interfere with my time here; there is enough to re-learn about my English.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Has the WWW got Cobwebs?

Just a quarter of a century ago the world began to shrink with the birth of the Internet/ World Wide Web.

Today it is nearly everywhere, full of good and bad - strange and fantastic - old and new - funny and sad.

However it has spawned a 'New' Enemy for many - 'Terror by Mouse' - Yes the mouse on your computer is capable of emptying a bank account in seconds, feeding viruses to millions at a click, creating happiness and sadness in seconds.

A variation on an historical theme present throughout our human history of violence and terrorism towards each other. Today we are a 'Global Village' community; the enemy is on the doorstep, not in another country, town or city anymore. It is just here in front of you if you/ we are not careful in our behaviour using the Internet. Educating and re-educating the 'Global Villagers' against the perils of the Internet is paramount to improving World safety and the trust and respect we all rightly deserve for each other.

Where are all the millions going that end up in Nigerian bank accounts? Countless millions are taken everyday from gullible and greedy victims’ of the 'Cyber-Criminal' - Is it sitting there gathering dust and interest? Is it being re-routed to fund the atrocities we read about/ see on TV far too regularly these days? Is enough being done to ensure our children's safety? Unanswered questions that need a fair amount of investment in many ways, time, money, equipment as well as training is needed before a valid answer can be given to them.

None of these are readily available yet to the 'Cinderella' of the security systems of the WWW - Yet the cost of 1 cruise missile could easily create a far better Internet Safety centre, to begin a fight to turn the tables on Terrorism, be it on the net or in the street. Instead it is a tit-for-tat campaign with both forces engaged in a never-ending battle for supremacy.

The enemy to a free world is no longer a terrorist act in another country; no longer an enemy at the gates of freedom, the enemy is right in front of you on your desktop!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Communication - The Three P's

Three not so little words that speak volumes - or do they, do they fall on deaf ears, or kick-start your Neurons?

P Put known knowledge to use effectively.
U Use what you know to learn even more.
R React and respond to questions raised.
P Put your new knowledge to daily use.
O Observe and learn from any mistakes made.
S Seek further advice to learn much more.
E Each day has something new for you to learn.


P Put your thoughts into words.
R Reach out and share with others.
O Observe and help others grow as well.
G Grow your knowledge and experience gradually.
R Remember your weaker areas and improve on them.
E Each day is a clean page in your life.
S Sitting back and criticising others helps no one at all.
S Step in and help others grow as weak areas emerge.


P People do not always say what they see.
E Each one of us is very different from yourself.
R Reach out and share your knowledge with others.
C Care that your message is in not in coded form.
E Each case has similarities that are different in some way.
P Patience when you reveal any new truths to others.
T Time is on your side if you can be patient and have support.
I Instincts and awareness work well together.
O Others may not see as clearly as you do at this time.
N Never forget others may not like your choice of words.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Reality is... - Quotes from my Neuron

"Reality is - Fiction turned into Fact."

"Reality is - Waking up and seeing what you could have done would have helped others as well."

"Reality is - Realising that Technology is not the answer to problems, we are the answer to life’s problems."

“Reality is - Recognising that if an element of doubt exists, then you have a starting point for further progress or clarification to begin."

“Reality is - Realising that sharing an opinion is far better than keeping a thought inside your own head.”