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Internet Safety – ‘Cyber-Bullying’ is
‘Beatable’
Part 2 of 3
By Dr. Peter James – Independent researcher, writer,
and web tactician.
Always use reputable valid and up
to date ‘Anti-Virus’ and ‘Spyware’ programs and also ‘Legal’ computer ‘Operating
Systems’ and ‘Software’ programs – the crucial bits missing from pirate
software, make it much easier for others to get into your computer from the
other side of the world (or even next door!).
Chat Precautions
Log all chats:
Each ‘Chat’ program has the facility to record onto the hard drive every typed
word and most pictures (or references) and emoticons used by both parties.
Please activate it and keep a copy of every chat (Parents, activate it and
store everyone’s chats in your own partition, for everyone’s peace of mind. Trusting
your siblings is one thing, making sure they are safe is another). Would you
let them have a total stranger in your home? This is what you are doing now.
The chat record could be very useful if a loved one ever goes missing for no
apparent reason, it may help find them faster and in a healthy condition again.
Be aware of meeting
others: The stranger you are going to meet, you know the one you
let into your home and life everyday, sometimes several times a day, the one
who has not shared a true photograph of themselves. Told you little about them
apart from what you wanted to know, possibly later than direct a response to
your questions. Please take these wisesteps before going to meet them for the
first few times.
- Arrange
a public place to meet, never meet in a secluded place or building.
- Take
a friend with you, or arrange to meet them later at said place.
- Ring
a friend regularly to let them know you are all right (this can be coded
if you wish) never txt anyone as there is no proof it is ‘You’ sending the
txt on the mobile.
- If
you do not take a friend with you, arrange a time to meet and place before
leaving home and do not leave this spot no matter how much your ‘New
friend’ wants you to.
- Any
suspicions you may have make your excuses and leave fast.
- Your
teenage friend could so easily be someone much older.
- If
everything is ok, great, have a good time but remember to follow the
safety rules above.
Habits of chatter:
We all have a limited command of our own language and each language has a
limited number of ways to use a particular phrase. By reading a chat message,
it is possible to see something that you do not know or understand, just as if
you are listening to someone speaking. Just as you would ask ‘what do you mean’
verbally, you can do the same in a chat message as well. In the event that you
do not understand the response, or it seems to indicate an ‘exciting’ do this
answer, be careful it may not be someone in your own age group or someone who
can be trusted. Parents, if your sibling starts talking in words above their
own natural ability to date, or showing an interest in something far too old
for them, listen and take note, flying off the handle too quickly could easily
push this issue away and become a secret to be kept from you. A sudden change
in vocabulary may be a sign of an interaction outside siblings known friend and
adult associations. It is much better to observe, listen, and discuss than to
‘shut the stable door’ after the horse has bolted.
Watch for grooming:
All the clues to this are visible in changes in a persons behaviour, be they
young or old, taking on ‘new’ words wanting to do ‘this’ or ‘that’. Dress code
may change as well, when you hear words like – ‘so-and-so’ does this… ‘Does
that’ or ‘I want…? Etc’ the selling pitch is like an advert to millions on TV,
except here it is aimed at a perceptively naïve youngster. The fact they are
starting to trust and believe an ‘Invisible’ electronic friend more than
someone in the ‘Real’ world is another subject, nevertheless just as big a
problem.
Infatuation:
Very similar in many ways to the above paragraph and very closely associated to
‘normal’ everyday life. Changes in behaviour may slip in and free usage of
names etc easily linked to friends, films or TV and ‘natural’ growing up, quite
possibly the same as known ‘for real’ go un-noticed as similes’ with net
activity and ‘real’ friends are not usually noticed in many cases. Some habit
changes may go un-noticed at first, accepted as just a part of growing-up.
Secrecy: We
all like to have and keep secrets from others, with the intention of dishing
out a surprise ‘gift’ or ‘treat’ at the appropriate time. The secrets I refer
to are neither of these, rather the secrets laid in by ‘devious’ manipulation
of a youngsters mind. These secrets may become evident due to a
‘slip-of-the-tongue’, do not press for an answer, instead wait patiently and
introduce it another way. A one parent firing squad is ‘out’ bring the matter
up gently as if a ‘secret of yours as a teenager’ for example may be a way to
dig it out, if you know your sibling well, this will not pose a problem.
However, in the event that you are too busy with your own life… No matter how
little you know your child, you will beaware of habits, care or not will have
noticed changes taking place.
Changes of habit:
See grooming and infatuation as well. Habit changes are noticeable in many
ways, but not as easy if the youngster is a loner or has only a few friends.
Eating habits could be a clue here, suddenly loving peas or carrots for
example, or, not eating fruit, maybe wanting a curry every day. Over many
centuries, foodstuffs have been a weapon used against others in many ways;this
is simply a variation on a theme, wishing to cook or lay the table could be
links, or are they? ‘One Swallow does not make a summer’
Groomer likes /
dislikes; this is where you can learn to use your memory, linking the
above four entries together, may provide many clues to who your siblings’
‘Mystery person’ is. Habits, clothing, and food are some, along with films,
music, or TV Heroes. The liking of black things is a phase most youngsters go
through, this may not be a help. However it is a clue, just as for example
‘Strawberries’ are suddenly a favourite dish whereas they did not like them till
recently, could be the clue needed to enable the authorities to catch an
offender and return a loved one back to the family fold safe and sound.
Photographs:
Posted photographs and shared photographs may not be the person or persons in
them at all. In several cases where a youngster has gone to meet the ‘new
friend’ for the first time, the ‘new friend’ has turned out to be a lot older
than photographs posted on chat etc, sometimes the excuse given is that
‘so-and-so’ is doing… ‘So I have come to meet you in their place and will take
you to meet them ‘X’ asked me to apologise for not being here.’ (Or words
similar to this example)
Lack of photographs:
Why? Maybe they are new to ‘chat’. In the event a picture never appears after
talking them through the methods or you have doubts, end the ‘electronic’
relationship, it is better to be safe than sorry at the end of the day.
Webcams: Does
the other person on chat have a software problem? Is the chat set up correctly,
is a webcam actually attached, settings may show one ispresent but actually is
not. Which ever applies it does not matter who it is at the other end, never
put on a ‘floor show’ for the other person. Especially if you never see them at
all on their webcam, or accept invitations to do so by unknown parties, you
never know who could be watching. Many children are tempted this way by
‘groomers’. Near enough, every webcam has a USB, remove, and lock it away when
not needed or record its activity in your partition most can be. This is
another variation on the ‘safe than sorry’ rule.
Any noted suspicions are worth
noting down, any clues are worth remembering, and be it an observation of
yours, a friend, or even a sibling. In the event of something going horribly
wrong, then a clue like so-and-so likes / dislikes ‘tomato’s’ could be the very
clue needed to apprehend and get a loved one returned safely home. Literally
any suspicions should be reported to the correct authorities, let them decide
it is their job not yours.
Fraud Email
No one is exempt:
Everyone gets junk and scam emails, be it Mr ‘Microsoft’ Bill Gates, your
favourite film star or singer, even me, efforts are made to curb this daily
threat but without employing many of the suggestions in this article, it is a
hard battle to win. Now my own spam emails received is low at around five or six
items a week. If your IP address gets hi-jacked, you can send spam unknowingly.
A few months ago whilst on holiday I found that despite not being on the
Internet during the 5 days away that 1000+ spam emails had been sent using my
IP address. The matter was resolved 6 weeks later and the offender caught, literally,
no one is exempt from the ‘Cyber-Bully’ or Internet nastiness out there today.
Bank emails:
There are always plausible reasons given to get you to respond to them, many
are from banks that you do not have an account with at all. Never open or
respond to them at all, if it is from your bank, go to the nearest branch and
sort it out there, not over the Internet or phone, many bogus emails use false logos,
and ghost embedded addresses to fool the recipients into responding. In the
time it takes to re-read this paragraph, a computer operator elsewhere in
another part of the world could electronically rob your bank account!
EBay emails:
Have you brought anything in the last few days? Has anyone brought anything
from you? Apart from the odd promotional email from ‘EBay’ or maybe a follow up
question from a buyer or seller – You know who they are; there is no need for ‘EBay’
to contact you at all. Any such emails can be deleted without a second thought.
The contents look good and the links work to bogus sites – not ‘EBay’ – they usually
contain ‘bugs’ of various descriptions, all designed to get into your computer
and feed back any useful information found on it. Want to see EBay’s latest
offers, go to the EBay website much safer than opening the ‘offer you can not
refuse’ email.
PayPal emails:
The scenario is very similar to ‘EBay’, again they look good and just like all
scam emails they contain false links, sometimes phone numbers, impressive
reproduced layout and a lot of ‘English’ spelling mistakes. (A fact many
non-native ‘English’ speakers miss completely when responding to ‘scam’
emails.) Along with other poorly educated people, they happily answer all
questions asked and lose thousands every day to these ‘Cyber-Bullies’. The same
rule for PayPal special offers applies as well.
Phone numbers are
not: It is possible to buy phone numbers for other countries and many
do this for genuine legally accepted reasons. Just because it is a ‘UK’, ‘USA’ etc number to ring, does not
mean your call (along with the bogus contact name) is going to that country.
Invariably the call never does, answered in a completely different country to
the one dialled on your phone. In the event that you find such a number in an
email, there is a very high chance that is an attempt to reassure that the
email is genuine.
Lottery winner:
Bin them! Do not waste a second opening them, each one is aimed at making you a
lot poorer and the ‘Cyber-Bully/ Criminal’ a lot richer. You have not won
anything at all. Your lottery winnings are false, every lottery has a ticket
with ‘Your’ chosen numbers on it that will be in your possession, not faceless
individual, – Foreign lotteries; do not normally sell outside their own
national borders. Again badly written ‘English’ gets thousands of greedy
individuals to empty their bank accounts chasing the mythical money they have
not won, not only not won – The winnings never exist at all! – If the email were on paper, the
paper would be worth more than the contents written on it.
Inheritance emails:
Again bin them without opening them, the wording in the mailbox as to ‘From’
and ‘Header’ contents usually give them away first, if any is present in the
header that is. As with any unknown names if in doubt – ‘Delete’ without
opening. The header usually wants you to contact someone; this someone has a
false name and phone number and is only intent on passing you along a chain of
fraudsters getting you to part with as much money as possible on the way. Later
after a few months respite they get in touch with you again and go through the whole
rip-off process again. Think about this: ‘Why they do not know your name if you
are actually inheriting such a large sum of money?’
Microsoft Junk
emails: Microsoft do not, repeat do not send junk emails, nowadays
nearly all Microsoft emails are by subscription only, only sent by request. You
can happily delete any you have not asked them to send, as they will not be
from Microsoft at all.
Password request
emails: If your mate across the street, a stranger in the bar where you
have a beer, or a bus passenger asked for your password, bank details etc,
would you give them to them. No! So why do people happily do so to an unknown
plausible electronic enquiry? These details are yours and yours alone not for
Jo/ Joe Public – Keep them safe!
Websites to note:
Internet fraud - http://www.fraudwatchinternational.com/
Child web safety - http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/
Internet Police UK - http://www.wiredsafety.org/gb/law/uk_police_information.html
FBI Cybercrime - http://www.fbi.gov/cyberinvest/cyberhome.htm
The complete article can be read by clicking on the URL below
http://ezinearticles.com/?Internet-Safety---Cyber-Bullying-it-Can-Be-Beaten&id=1317384A, B, Catch you later dear reader!
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